New Year Resolution

Guess, what could be the 2010 resolution of celebrities around the world:

Tiger Woods - I would like to be the best husband in year 2010, not sure who is going to be the wife!!!

Citibank CEO - We'll continue to pull investors from Middle East as long as they read our share price value(as of today $3.67) from right to left

Goldman Sachs CEO - I did God's work in 2009. I wish to do the same in 2010, until Goldman enjoys Fed support.

Iran President - Human Rights is at top of my list. Uranium enrichment is at the bottom of my list. We'll hit our goals starting from the bottom of my list. Besides, I'll continue to capture headlines in US News media.

Pakistan PM - I'll work towards making Pakistan, a free terrorist country...Hh...ooops...sorry for the incorrect phrase, I meant 'terrorist free' country

iPhone - Never expected to be a celebrity of this stature. Unlike Woods, I'm very honest to disclose that I had affair with too many folks, last year. I'll continue to seduce more people this year as well.

President Obama - Move Wall Street from NY city to Washington,D.C, didn't happen in 2009

Sarah Palin - Be a media friendly person, not in cover page alone.

Hamid Karzai - Afghanistan will emerge as a new nation flushing all terrorists and corrupted leaders to neighbouring Pakistan

Bernard Madoff - I'm awarded 150 years in prison, so I don't have any resolution in specific!!!

Michael Jackson Ghost - I'll take revenge on Dr. Conrad Murray for putting me permanently in sleep, even after I told him that I need to wake up after an hour.

Reform HealthCare!!!!

It's so shameful to learn that nation's most serious issue to be resolved, has become the stage set for several actors to play their roles. First, the representatives divided as democrats and republicans, prefer to treat this as a battlefield. Second, the insurance companies continue to put pressure through sponsoring organizations fuelling the animosity. Third, The American media is more focused on polls to measure the success of Obama's every consecutive 100 days of his term. Finally, the tax payers, who has seen no ending of this drama.

The health care system reform has always become the point of controversy. Of course who care about a citizen's health as long as it gives enough fuel to debate and talk about. The unemployment inching towards double digit. Those who lost job can't afford government subsidized health care program. Those who have jobs can't afford rise in health care premium cost, sky rocketing every year, besides cut in benefits. Always the insurance company has upper hand to decide what kind of treatment one is entitle to. People with prior medical condition, insurance company consider them as a fixed cost and try to avoid'em. Does this system make anyone happy? Of course, it feeds the balance sheets of insurance companies and comply with corporate America's policy of make PROFIT at any cost.

Isn't it the time to reform health care system, then it is not too late. Isn't it the government's primary responsibility to ensure every citizen can afford health care? Millions of Americans would like health care system to be reformed, but do their political representatives realize this? The system is in intensive care unit, that require some sensible bipartisan conversation rather than show-up their revenge against each other.

You might have heard this statements at political stages:

"A patient in UK walks in and out of the hospital at no cost"
"Drugs cost far less in neighbouring country of Canada than in US"

"Why does health care cost so much in US?"

This are arguments fired by politicians before they get elected. Remember, statements and promises cannot reform a system. People expect sensible action that may not solve the problem, but at least doesn't worsen the situation. If Auto and Financial sector were given life using tax payer's money, why not the representatives come together and reform health care system that can benefit tax payers, who has helped bring stability to economy.

Conscience

Every person has an inner sense. English dictionary list the word 'conscience' , referring to this sense. In reality, your conscience would think alike or contradict with your thoughts. Let's take a guess on the conscience of this celebrities around the world.

Obama: Oh Boy!!! I'll would have had a better life in Hawaii, than being in midst of this mess. I've spent more time with Treasury Secretary Geithner than with Michelle

Saddam Hussein's Ghost: Woooo..Ghosts are suppose to take revenge. Now it's my turn to take revenge on Bush and Cheney!!!

First Lady Michelle Obama: Hmmmm...Given Obama's personality, I'm worried if there will be a second lady at White House. No replica of Bill Clinton's period!!

Bank Of America CEO: Please don't throw shoe at me for the Merry Lynch deal. I deserve sandals.

George W. Bush: Damn, I don't beleive this polls!!! How can I be referred as the most unpopular president ever, when I'm elected twice to whitehouse.

Ar Rehman: Jai Ho!!! All you need to win an oscar is work in a western movie.

Hillary Clinton: I aimed for a President post, but I'm offered the Secretary of State. My next run for President will not compromise for any other post!

AIG CEO: How come a CEO alone can be blamed for a company's failure? Where did this regulators go all this year? We've been dealing with credit default swap for long!!! How can you expect the CEO to know the risk of this products while the Phds, who invented this, themselves don't know.

Iran's President: Thanks to Pyongyang, now the americans focus will move away from Iran. I should make use of this opportuity and quickly move all nukes to basement.

Joe Biden: I think I exaggerated the impact of swine flu , making a statement such as 'avoid air and subway travel'. I've to change my primary physician who gave me the incorrect information. Next time, I better keep quiet, as Cheney used to.

Excerpts from chit-chats heard at office pantry

Person I: Did you hear about TARP?
Person II: I bet it's an upcoming bollywood movie, correct?
Person I: Hah????

Person I: I'm sick and tired of news channels broadcasting on layoffs, credit crisis, bailout, etc. Give me some really good news to start my day?
Person II: Recently haven't heard of any good news and may be not for another year......Hmmmm....How about this? A Panda in California zoo gave birth to a baby girl. Mom and Baby are doing fine .

Person I: Hey, what's going on, every company is laying off?
Person II: I share your frustration. Idiots, who gave them permission to create financial products on our loans. It's hard for me to imagine, that foreclosures have brought down several companies, and economies as well

Person I: Did you hear that automakers came in private jets to Washington? This is ridiculous?
Person II: CEOs are known to be tough, aaaannngggg...when it comes to give up luxury

Person I: I'm going back to China, I don't think I can survive this crisis, what do you say?
Person II: Dude, are you going back to real China or China Town in New York, I don't see any big difference

Person I: (Referring to Mumbai incident) After all evidence, how can Pakistan President say that the captured terrorist is not a Pakistani? Is he crazy?
Person II: He is correct. Once a Pakistani citizen takes training at terrorist camp, he is awarded a special citizenship status called 'stateless actor'. The stateless actor has exclusive privilege to cross borders and create havoc

Person I: What do you think about Mr. Madoff's hedge fund?
Person II: I thought the hedge fund business is very complicated. I never realized it's that easy.

Person I: Hey, do you know about 'systemic failure'?
Person II: Very simple, just reboot your PC, you'll be good enough.
Person I: Ahgggg...(blinks)...Forget about it, nothing

Be Different And Make History

Recently several people made news headlines since they uniquely outstood their opponent and made history. For instance, Barack Obama, Abhinav Bindra, Michael Phelps, and many other.

This are people with extraordinary talents. Can an ordinary individual make history? Why not? Consider one of the following, depending on who you are, to make history:

* Be the first hollywood celebrity to divorce before marriage

* Be the first husband to treat your wife same, before and after sex

* Be the first person to say “I like George W Bush”

* Be the first person to challenge the fact that Bush cannot turn around the economy

* Be the first American fast food restaurant owner to spell and utter the meaning of word "OBESITY' correctly

* Be the first doctor to attend your patient at a given appointment time, instead one hour later

* Be the first kid to say that you don't like window seat

* Be the first person to challenge Barack Obama that he is not Black, but Brown

* Be the first daughter-in-law to proclaim that your mother-in-law is not pain in the Ass

* Be the first subordinate to consider year-end review from your manager, as a roadmap for upcoming year

Tips To Fight Inflation

Inflation has been on news recently, in countries, around the globe. You should try the following to stay informed and reactive to this occasion

* Don't take a longer vacation. When you come back, you'll be shocked to learn the commodity prices, especially food and gas

* Talk to your friends about inflation. If he or she didn't show any interest, probably he or she is suffering from multiple personality disorder

* Often, talk to your wife on how to control expenses. If she agrees, praise her in front of her Mother-in-law. If she disagrees, praise her mother-in-law. If she keeps quiet, probably, You are already dead, similar to what happens in The Sixth Sense movie

* Kids bring-on expenses as well. Teach them the basics of finance, and then ask them to pick between a spider man toy and $20 bill. Kids are smart, they'll pick $20 bill. If they didn't, then better find a good teacher

* Local community Housewives should form a club and plan to share expenses such as movie rentals, coupons, etc. This will help to develop a community that is inflation proof. But not sure, the club will be politics or gossip proof.

* You'll not be surprised to know that everyone blames the government for inflation. Nowadays, the governments are so smart that they point their hands to globalization, Ahhhhngg, what to do?

* Gas price is skyrocketing. Why bother commuting to work everyday by car? Ask you manager for work from home option. If your manager says yes, probably he is a nut. If he says no, working for him, kick yourself in the butt.

* Milk is healthy but price has soared so much in the recent past. Introduce ration system at home. A member of family cannot drink more than one glass of milk. If he or she wants more than a glass, no breakfast or dinner for them

US Politicians, Avoid The Trap

Below are few tips that any American politician can use to avoid following the path of former New York State Governor, Eliot Spitzer or former President Clinton.

• Never betray ur family, if you do so, don't worry, nothing will happen. Family is just one of the qualification to become a politician


• Keep yourself busy, like our current president blinks his eyes always, so that you don't have time to think about 'Doing'


• If you have naughty female staffs, mandate that they don't stay after 6 PM at your office


• A political career cannot be ruined for a call girl or intern, so if you get caught, make them part of your family.


• If you come to public life, there is no privacy dude, you've to be clear


• Oh, Man......, Gov Spitzer used call girl 8 times? Did somebody in NY state misinformed him that it is an employee benefit?


• Do people expect anything from an elected leader such as Gov Spitzer ? Of course,they expect him to stand by the principles of prostitution,.....I'm sorry constitution


• Check this out, guess who would be the next politician to fall in this trap, definitely not Bush, I believe even call girls would hate him for the inflation and recession in US