Sunday, December 14, 2008

Excerpts from chit-chats heard at office pantry

Person I: Did you hear about TARP?
Person II: I bet it's an upcoming bollywood movie, correct?
Person I: Hah????

Person I: I'm sick and tired of news channels broadcasting on layoffs, credit crisis, bailout, etc. Give me some really good news to start my day?
Person II: Recently haven't heard of any good news and may be not for another year......Hmmmm....How about this? A Panda in California zoo gave birth to a baby girl. Mom and Baby are doing fine .

Person I: Hey, what's going on, every company is laying off?
Person II: I share your frustration. Idiots, who gave them permission to create financial products on our loans. It's hard for me to imagine, that foreclosures have brought down several companies, and economies as well

Person I: Did you hear that automakers came in private jets to Washington? This is ridiculous?
Person II: CEOs are known to be tough, aaaannngggg...when it comes to give up luxury

Person I: I'm going back to China, I don't think I can survive this crisis, what do you say?
Person II: Dude, are you going back to real China or China Town in New York, I don't see any big difference

Person I: (Referring to Mumbai incident) After all evidence, how can Pakistan President say that the captured terrorist is not a Pakistani? Is he crazy?
Person II: He is correct. Once a Pakistani citizen takes training at terrorist camp, he is awarded a special citizenship status called 'stateless actor'. The stateless actor has exclusive privilege to cross borders and create havoc

Person I: What do you think about Mr. Madoff's hedge fund?
Person II: I thought the hedge fund business is very complicated. I never realized it's that easy.

Person I: Hey, do you know about 'systemic failure'?
Person II: Very simple, just reboot your PC, you'll be good enough.
Person I: Ahgggg...(blinks)...Forget about it, nothing

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Be Different And Make History

Recently several people made news headlines since they uniquely outstood their opponent and made history. For instance, Barack Obama, Abhinav Bindra, Michael Phelps, and many other.

This are people with extraordinary talents. Can an ordinary individual make history? Why not? Consider one of the following, depending on who you are, to make history:

* Be the first hollywood celebrity to divorce before marriage

* Be the first husband to treat your wife same, before and after sex

* Be the first person to say “I like George W Bush”

* Be the first person to challenge the fact that Bush cannot turn around the economy

* Be the first American fast food restaurant owner to spell and utter the meaning of word "OBESITY' correctly

* Be the first doctor to attend your patient at a given appointment time, instead one hour later

* Be the first kid to say that you don't like window seat

* Be the first person to challenge Barack Obama that he is not Black, but Brown

* Be the first daughter-in-law to proclaim that your mother-in-law is not pain in the Ass

* Be the first subordinate to consider year-end review from your manager, as a roadmap for upcoming year

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Tips To Fight Inflation

Inflation has been on news recently, in countries, around the globe. You should try the following to stay informed and reactive to this occasion

* Don't take a longer vacation. When you come back, you'll be shocked to learn the commodity prices, especially food and gas

* Talk to your friends about inflation. If he or she didn't show any interest, probably he or she is suffering from multiple personality disorder

* Often, talk to your wife on how to control expenses. If she agrees, praise her in front of her Mother-in-law. If she disagrees, praise her mother-in-law. If she keeps quiet, probably, You are already dead, similar to what happens in The Sixth Sense movie

* Kids bring-on expenses as well. Teach them the basics of finance, and then ask them to pick between a spider man toy and $20 bill. Kids are smart, they'll pick $20 bill. If they didn't, then better find a good teacher

* Local community Housewives should form a club and plan to share expenses such as movie rentals, coupons, etc. This will help to develop a community that is inflation proof. But not sure, the club will be politics or gossip proof.

* You'll not be surprised to know that everyone blames the government for inflation. Nowadays, the governments are so smart that they point their hands to globalization, Ahhhhngg, what to do?

* Gas price is skyrocketing. Why bother commuting to work everyday by car? Ask you manager for work from home option. If your manager says yes, probably he is a nut. If he says no, working for him, kick yourself in the butt.

* Milk is healthy but price has soared so much in the recent past. Introduce ration system at home. A member of family cannot drink more than one glass of milk. If he or she wants more than a glass, no breakfast or dinner for them

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

US Politicians, Avoid The Trap

Below are few tips that any American politician can use to avoid following the path of former New York State Governor, Eliot Spitzer or former President Clinton.


  • Never betray ur family, if you do so, don't worry, nothing will happen. Family is just one of the qualification to become a politician

  • Keep yourself busy, like our current president blinks his eyes always, so that you don't have time to think about 'Doing'

  • If you have naughty female staffs, mandate that they don't stay after 6 PM at your office

  • A political career cannot be ruined for a call girl or intern, so if you get caught, make them part of your family.

  • If you come to public life, there is no privacy dude, you've to be clear

  • Oh, Man......, Gov Spitzer used call girl 8 times? Did somebody in NY state misinformed him that it is an employee benefit?

  • Do people expect anything from an elected leader such as Gov Spitzer ? Of course,they expect him to stand by the principles of prostitution,.....I'm sorry constitution

  • Check this out, guess who would be the next politician to fall in this trap, definitely not Bush, I believe even call girls would hate him for the inflation and recession in US